MISSING

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That evening;
When you had nothing but an empty wallet, a rumbling stomach, few tears you’re holding back behind your eyelids, and your feet were so sore that you would rather sit under the rain, soaked.

That evening;
When you were in the midst of strangers, drowned in your own thoughts. And you missed those familiar faces too much that you had to grip your chest so hard to keep yourself from falling on your knees. Yes, yes. You were crumbled inside and it felt as if your organs were all clamped together, squeezed, slowly paralyzing.

That evening;
When none of your closest friends could understand your ridiculous pain, your shallow breath and you couldn’t make them understand. Because even you can’t figure it out yourself.

That evening;
When your laundries were overflowing, the machines are all broken and your homework were due tomorrow.

That evening;
When you were swimming through the sea of smiling faces, and pretended that you were okay, and happy, just to fit in. When you tried to laugh at their jokes even when you were the one they ridiculed.

That evening;
When you were so sick but you have to smile, so that they won’t worry, won’t ask. When you were swallowing your own coughs, sneezes, and you were dying to do so, or to just sleep, but you cannot.

That evening;
When you tried to secretly put down your pain on that ugly crumpled piece of paper you always keep in your pocket. When every acronym you wrote, you had to hide under your palm, so they wouldn’t know.

That evening;
When you gave up on telling yourself that you would be okay. Because you knew it’s not always going to be that way.

That evening;
When you reached your room after a long journey, and remember that you have dropped your heart, your hope, on the cracking wet road, and now you have to turn back around and search for it.

That evening;
When you found out for sure that
They were all missing- all gone.

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